Cell phones are here to stay so what is a grandparent to do
When I was growing up, we had phone rules. Rules that governed who we could talk to and how long we could talk. These rules were fairly easy to enforce as the phone hung on the wall in the kitchen. Everyone knew who we were talking to and how long we talked. At one point, my sister and I got a phone in our room. We thought we had won the lottery until my sister did something my parents didn’t like, so they came into our room and unplugged the phone. That was that! Yes, those were the good old days. Today’s world is a far cry from those days and, as grandparents, many times our hands are tied when it comes to regulating the use of cell phones. But there are still things we can do to ensure our children’s safety and have a little fun with this ever-changing technology.
Many parents and grandparents are ignorant of the dangers of a cell phone until it is too late. We must be smarter than that! We have to be proactive, so our kids do not have to go through something as horrific as bullying or online predators. We must educate ourselves so we can educate our children. And we must understand how smart our kids are and how much power a cell phone gives them. I read where police in Rocklin, California said two girls, ages 15 and 16, used a prescription sleeping medication recently to spike the milkshakes of one’s parents so they could log onto the Internet after 10 p.m. Now, that is smart….and scary!
So, what’s a grandparent’s role in cell phone usage?
- Ask your children, the parents of your grandchildren, what are their rules concerning cell phone usage?
If they don’t have any, encourage them to establish some by pointing them to an article about the dangers. Here’s a good one at Focus on the Family: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/kids-and-technology/tech-support-for-parents/cell-phone-rules
If they do have rules, make sure you know them and enforce them when you have the kids. Don’t let being at grandma’s house be a good excuse for any bad or disobedient behavior.
- Beyond your children’s rules for the grands, have a few of your own. It’s okay for rules at grandma’s house to be different. But use sparingly. Rules are made for the good of the community, not a power struggle.
- No cell phones during meals whether it’s at your house or a restaurant. I admit this is a hard one, even for me, but it’s worth it. It’s good manners to focus on the people you are with instead of the ones who might call.
- No posting a pic of someone else if they don’t want it posted. Posting pics is so easy today, but the privilege is easily abused. When you have all the cousins together, make it known that no posting is done if someone else objects.
- Establish rules for playing games on your phone. If you don’t, you will never see your phone once your little ones arrive. When mine grands were little, I limited games on my phone to fifteen minutes. In today’s world, many little ones will come to your house with their own game playing devices. Setting time limits on all game playing is important. Kids need to run and play and use their imagination. Even if they say, “Mom lets me play all day,” still enforce the rules you have for your house. They will soon catch on.
- Ask kids to put their phone away when they are talking to you. Even a short conversation about what sports they are playing or who is their best friend is more meaningful if they are not sharing their attention with their cell phone. Again, we are teaching them manners. You can be sweet as you say, “Hey, let’s both put our phones away while we talk about you.”
- Don’t forget to have fun with your phones too. My grands love to play games likeWords with Friends with their great-grandma and she loves the connection she has with them. I enjoy letting my grands show me the latest apps and fun videos. It’s a new world, but we can still be a part of it.
- Along the same lines, use your phone to educate your grandkids about the great music of the past. On one trip we took, we spent hours picking songs for each other to listen to. The grands would pick a song from today, then I would pick one from the past. Cell phones can be great tools when used properly.
- On some days, pretend it’s 1975 and leave all phones at home—that includes you. Take a walk, go to the movies, sit by the pool and no one brings a phone. Listen to the birds, watch for squirrels, feed ducks in a pond, look for animals in the clouds—focus on the people you are with.
- Stay up to date. Educate yourself in the different ways our young ones are communicating. My mother, who is 92, is on Facebook and Instagram so she can keep up with her growing family. It’s easier than you think.
I hope this helps you walk the cell phone road a little easier. They are here to stay, and for the most part, we are glad they are!
Hugs, Chrys
