Secure in God

I was a “shy” kid. 

I have an older sister who came straight out of the womb with confidence dripping off her shoulders, but not me.

We’re all different, aren’t we? God equips us in different ways, and sometimes, it takes a little work to figure out how God equipped us. 

I was quiet and shy and afraid to do so many things for fear of how others would react or fear of being embarrassed because I couldn’t do them well. 

All that translates into insecurity. 

So, basically, I just kept quiet. I was the kid whose teacher wrote notes home to my mom saying, “Chrys is a sweet student, she just won’t talk.”

YIKES!

Fortunately, I was blessed with a mom who loved her six children just like we were but was determined to help us develop and grow in areas that were a struggle for us. And, for me, that was being shy and insecure. 

So, mom, insisted I make my own doctor appointments or check out my purchases at the store or look people in the eye and shake their hands. I’m so thankful for a mom with a vision for who I could be.

But the struggle wasn’t completely over. I’m still shy, by nature, however, I’ve learned that quiet and shy can live with strong and secure.  

I’m going to give you three tools that helped me grow in confidence and security. Because of growing in these areas, I have been able to do more for the kingdom of God.

Number one: Train yourself to evaluate any situation you are in and look at in through the lens of God. Separate your feelings from the reality of the situation.

I was a young bride, just 18 years old. One month into my marriage my sweet groom decided he wanted to go to Mardi Grau, in New Orleans, with his buddies. At first look, I wasn’t a happy camper about this plan. And I quickly jumped to a crazy conclusion—maybe I’m not enough. Maybe this marriage isn’t fun enough or satisfying enough. But something in me said to think this through and I’m so glad I did. 

I concluded that everything my husband does is not a reflection on his LOVE for me. It’s just a decision. I decided I was not going to hold him captive because my “feelings” were causing me to feel insecure. My feelings were not the reality. My husband loved me. In fact, we’ve been married 52 years, and he still loves me. He adores me. So, when he does something that drives me crazy, or make me less than happy, I quickly access that his action isn’t about him loving me, it’s just about him. 

Number two:  You remember that older sister, the one born with confidence dripping from her shoulders. She really is the best big sister, but without knowing it, she boosted my confidence. When I was fifteen and she was sixteen, we were in the backyard, laying out in the sun. No pool, just on a blanket basting in the sunshine like teenagers did in the 1960’s.

Suddenly, we heard screeching tires, and we jumped up. We ran around the house to discover our little sister, who was five at the time, had been hit by a car. My confident older sister froze, while I ran into the house, got my mom, and called the ambulance.

While I would never wish such trauma on anyone, it taught me that I was more than I thought I could be. God had gifted me with the ability to stay calm and handle tough situations. 

So, number two is this: Be aware of who you are in different situations. Even little things, like how you relate to others or how you respond when taking a test or what you say and do when an emergency arises. Little things tell us who we can be in big situations. 

By the way, my little sister broke her leg and was in traction for weeks, but she is alive and well today. 

Number three and, of course, the most important one. Trust God when He tells us to not to be fearful because He is with us and that He did not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a sound mind.

My husband’s mom was a mighty prayer warrior and she repeated that verse in Isiash 41 hundreds of times. Fear not for I am with you. 

Again, as a young bride I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear those words–hundreds of times, but in doing so, I gained a confidence, not in myself, but in God.

I truly learned that the security I have in relationships, in my response to others, in my job performance or schoolwork, in my ability to speak in front of you now—all comes from God. He is the gift-er of everything good. 

Relax-God’s got this. Whatever it is. Trust Him.

Hugs, Chrys