Loving Your Grandchild Well in a Screen-Driven World

The pull of electronic devices is almost irresistible – for children and adults. With a simple push and swipe, videos and games captivate our grands and keep them sitting still. But this magic comes at a cost. Kids can grow more attached to their devices, craving the company of a beloved tablet more than a parent, sibling, grandparent or friend.  

Dr. Gary Chapman and I have written the book Grandparenting Screen Kids, and you’re probably familiar with Dr. Chapman’s five love languages. They are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. These love languages are a code to help you understand how your grandchild feels love. One of your children might feel most loved when held; another child might feel most loved when you say kind words. 

How does technology hinder the way you express love to your grandchild? Raising emotionally healthy children is an increasingly difficult job in this digital world that demands so much of our attention. But with a little planning, you can speak your grandchild’s love language in large doses. Here are some tech-free ways to get you started: 

Physical touch 

Stroke your grandchild’s hair or rub their back. 

Create a coupon book with coupons like: sit in nana’s lap and read a book / group hug / mini-massage / giant kiss on the cheek.   

When you’re out and have a free hand, hold your grandchild’s hand and swing it back it forth.

Cup your grandchild’s face in your hands and have a staring contest followed by a big hug. 

Words of affirmation 

Put a post-it note at the dining table or on the bathroom mirror with encouraging words like “I love you” and “You’re the best!” (this also doubles as a reading lesson!). 

Write your child’s name on a big poster board and create an acrostic with your child’s strengths like: 

E – Excellent 

T – Thankful 

H – Helpful 

A – Athletic 

N – Nice 

Notice something good your grandchild did and turn it into a story to praise him or her.  For example, “Once upon a time, there was a child named Ethan. When his terrifying sister tried to steal his cookie, he didn’t scream.  He shared!  And there was great rejoicing in all the land!” 

Create a motivational minute at the microwave. Next time you press express to heat up your child’s food, use that time to thank your grandchild and praise positive attributes and actions you see in your grandchild.   

Quality time 

At the park, spend time actually playing with them instead of watching from a bench or sitting with your phone.

Set a timer for 15 minutes that your grandchild can see and hear. Play together without any interruptions until the timer beeps.  You can give this quality time a name like “Fun Fifteen” or “Grandpa and Me Time.”   

Create screen-free rituals like reading and praying together. 

Gifts

Collect toys from the dollar store and give them out one at a time for achievements or just because. 

You can create a custom trophy to celebrate milestones (just look online for awards manufacturers). Feel free to have some fun and give out trophies like “Best smile” or “Best mac and cheese eater.” 

Shop at thrift stores and garage sales for deals on toys, sporting equipment, puzzles, games, and books.

If you travel for work, bring back something like a city sticker, mug or t-shirt for your grandchild to collect. 

Acts of service  

Make a special meal with your grandchild’s favorite food.  

Fix a broken toy. 

Teach your grandchild how to hold a pencil. 

Ask your grandchild, “What’s one special thing I can do for you today that would really help you out?” 

Set up a small candy buffet for your grandkids. Dress up as a classy server (white gloves and all) and open up the candy buffet after a nutritious meal. 

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Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, host of the Happy Home podcast, and author of several books including Parents Rising, 31 Days to a Happy Husband and Screen Kids.

Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, the Wall Street Journal and Focus on the Family. Arlene lives in San Diego with her husband James and their three children.  To learn more, visit her website at ArlenePellicane.com and check out her online courses and Parents Rising Conference at HappyHomeUniversity.com 

Speaker, Author and Host of the Happy Home Podcast
www.ArlenePellicane.com
Arlene@arlenepellicane.com