I was eight, I think. I was scared; this much I know. The lady in front of me appeared nice enough but she was a complete stranger, and our one-on-one meeting had all the feel of the principal’s office. In actuality this gathering was about my sisters and I being formally adopted so we could bear the name of the only man I had ever known.

After explaining that she needed to ask me some questions before the judge could make a ruling, the lady leaned in like we were best friends having a conspiratorial conversation and asked, “So, Shellie, do you want Ed Rushing to be your daddy?” I’d been prepared for this much. “Yes’m.” Case closed, right? Wrong. My one-word answer didn’t satisfy her. “But, why, Shellie? Why do you want him to be your daddy?” Was she joking? I wanted to tell her that was a stupid question, as he already was my daddy, but we girls weren’t allowed to use the “s” word, much less address it towards an adult. I stopped, thought on it, and finally said, “Because I like him,” only my matter-of-fact pronouncement came out “I yike him” because of my childhood speech impediment. Later, Miss Voice of the State shared my answer with my parents, who found it endearing. My older sisters, of course, found it perfect fodder for teasing me unmercifully. To my chagrin, “Because I yike him” would henceforth and forever be a part of our family lore.

My childhood phrasing reminds me to the following words from I Peter 3:15 “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that is in you.”

Those words are clear. “I yike him” may have served its purpose when I was eight, but as a disciple of Jesus Christ, I’m expected to have a better answer for why I believe as I do. All believers should. But now, I’d like to speak directly to this community. Those of us who hope to be game-changing grandmas in our circles must be living breathing testimonies of what it is like to walk with Jesus if we want our loved ones to follow Him, too. Our grands won’t be moved by our church attendance. And they won’t necessarily be moved by our words unless our lives bear witness to them. If Jesus is a “side item” on our plate, a good one-time decision we advocate  others make, our witness will be weak at best.

It’s my desire to live dying so Jesus can reach through me to those around me. But here’s my full disclosure: I can’t get the dying done. I find I must die daily. I have to choose His will over mine today regardless of how much I chose it yesterday. Is it a challenge? Yes, but it’s a challenge that comes with Jesus as Reward! The more I seek to know Him the more reason He gives me to believe, to hope. I pray you’ll set your heart to know Him intimately and discover His faithfulness for yourself.  He’ll change your world, grandma, and you’ll change theirs.