5 Generations Strong

There is nothing that speaks to the heart of child more than being surrounded by generations of men and women who love and support each other. We are now five generations strong in our family. And when I say five generations strong, I really do mean “strong”. We have five “active” generations, as my mom, at 92, is still driving and attending as many family functions as possible. I have a birthday coming up. I’ll be seventy, which used to seem sooooo old, but the fact that I’m seventy and my mother can attend my birthday party seems surreal! I love it and feel so blessed!

Five generations mean there is always someone handing down something valuable. Whether it’s a recipe, a life lesson on dating, or a cool coat that has come back into fashion, someone in this family is ready and willing to share with those younger. Having five generations means no one is ever alone to sort through any problem; there’s always a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, and a voice to listen to. It means family values are solidly in place for all to see and family history is just a conversation away. Living with five generations means the oldest is invited to see the excitement of new adventures repeatedly and the youngest clearly understand that, with adventure, comes responsibility and hard work and then, whether the adventure is successful or not, wisdom is gained.  Five generations means there will always be someone to cheer you on, celebrate your birthday, cook for upcoming party, or sit by the pool on a lazy day. 

Having five generations also means there are a lot of us. A family lunch could involve fifty people. It means communication is important and feelings must never be floating out there on your shoulder waiting to be trampled on. Love, patience, and understanding are the keys to keeping a large family connected. In most families, it might be the older generation who keeps the family together, but everyone must do their part. Sadie, the newest mom in our group, does her part. She makes sure she includes the oldest in the family fun events she’s involved in. She posts on our family “group me” important family updates. She takes the newest grandchild over to see Mamaw Jo as often as possible. Mamaw Jo, the oldest, does her part too. She’s always asking what she can do to make any event more special by cooking a favorite recipe or just cheering on whatever is happening. She’s a phone call away and is always there to talk through a problem or experience. She lives across the street from many of us. We love walking over in the evening and catching up with her. For our family members who don’t live in the same town, we utilize all communications sources. We call, facetime, text, group me, and get in the car and go visit. We do it all! It takes all of it. 

Whether your family is one generation strong or five, it’s important to remember that any family that wants to stay connected and close must make it a priority. It’s especially important after the “closed in” years of covid when families struggled with seeing anyone, even family. But it’s time to reconnect. And for that to happen, there must be some intentionality as you schedule family dinners and get togethers. Things that make families close don’t just “happen.” Someone plans them and then someone must attend. It takes everyone doing their part to make a close family work.  

If you are wondering what it takes to keep a family together, here are the things I’ve mentioned above in a list that might help you.

1. Eat together: Everyone must eat, so planning a meal together is the easiest way to bring a family together. Plus, even the teenagers will show up for food! We’ve found that the short notice meals work as well as the heavily planned ones. So, if you have a free night you didn’t know you were going to have, send a text that says, “Anyone up for dinner together?” We did this recently and we had a table full of family sharing about their day. If it’s a “short notice” get together, don’t fret about the house being perfect, just enjoy the fun!
2. Schedule a family game night: Games bring everyone together, no matter the age. Scheduling is a key word in intentional family time, but it can be done. And remember, everyone won’t be able to go to everything, but that’s okay. Put it out there, then enjoy those who can attend and tell those who can’t, “We’ll catch you next time.” Never make family feel guilty for not attending an event. You don’t want to build a family on guilt. 
3. Support and cheer: Make efforts to be at the events that  are important to your family members. A baseball game might not be “your thing” but attending and cheering on a family members says, “You are important to me.” Again, no guilt. Just go to what you can get to. 
4. Use your phone: Texting, calling, and facetiming are the best ways to stay in touch. Even our grandkids who live in town facetime us just to show us a new trick their little ones are doing, and we love it! If you’re worried about intruding on a family members day, text them first to see if they are free. 
5. Recognize and support traditions: Traditions are those things that distinguish one family from another. It gives children a sense of hope and security. Hope and security are two things all people need even who they don’t realize it at a young age. If you family has a tradition, hang on to it. If your family needs some, start them. It doesn’t have to be major, it can be a simple as a song you sing when you leave for a trip or a certain recipe that is cooked every holiday. The important thing is to find something that says “This is us,” and consistently make it happen. That consistency is what gives kids and adults the security they need to grow. 

Well, that’s my “five generation” advice. Enjoy your family. That’s the important thing!

Hugs, Chrys