3 Advantages to Speaking Highly of Your Spouse Before Your Family
We all know (and are hopefully avoiding!) the negative consequences of belittling or disrespecting our spouse in front of our kids and grandkids. I think we’re slower to realize the great benefits to be found on the flip side of that truth. Consider this a friendly little reminder for all of us who want to leave lasting legacies for those loved ones coming after us. Stir yourself up and do it. The positive affirming words we choose to speak to and about our spouses in front of our families are powerful! Here’s a look at three of the advantages:
1. It Strengthens the Foundation of Our Own Relationship:
No marriage is perfect. If our kids are grown and married, they have figured that out all by themselves. By actively speaking well of our spouse in front of our kids and grandkids, we are teaching them to build the same type of narrative into their conversations, and our precious grandkids will witness it and reap the benefits of it! That should be strong motivation for us right there, but here’s a bonus. When we take every opportunity to speak positively and kindly to our spouse in front of the family, we strengthen our bond as a couple and reinforce the foundation of our own marriage.
2. It Creates a Culture of Mutual Respect and Support for the Immediate Family!
The mimic factor in family relationships can’t be overstated. When our married kids hear us speaking positively about our spouse, they are far more likely to mirror that type of attitude with their own spouse. Good word choices in our home can lead to good word choices in theirs. But it goes even further. Our actions can create a positive culture in our immediate and extended families, too. When we offer our spouse support that can be seen and heard, our kids will be more likely to encourage their siblings and quicker to celebrate each other’s wins. This culture can even begin to impact the extended family. Cousins will tend to support and encourage cousins, and the cycle will continue, all because you chose your words wisely with your spouse in front of them!
3. It Sets a Positive Example for Future Generations:
We’ve already noted the tendency of children to repeat the patterns of their parents and grandparents, both good and bad. By choosing our words well, we can literally help the next generation learn the value of uplifting and celebrating the people they love, which can build strong marriages and yield happy homes for years to come.
I was raised with the old adage, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” That’s good advice. RIG family, but I’m challenging us to build on it. Let’s actively look for ways to say the nice thing to and about our spouse in front of our families. It will take some effort and a bit of time to form this new habit if we haven’t been doing it because the positive comment may not always spring to our lips as easily as the critical observation. But by intentionally choosing words of love, admiration, and appreciation, we can be a part of building strong and supportive families for generations to come, and we can enjoy happier homes in the meanwhile. Who’s in?
Hugs, Shellie
