The Three R’s for Back-to-School Moms

Back to school can bring a myriad of new dilemmas, can’t it? From trying on last year’s pants to see if any of them still fit to deciding if whether a sack lunch or a hot lunch is more nutritious. Not to mention the haunting question of is their backpack going to be cool enough. Every year for twelve to twenty years, depending on the number of children you have, the same old dilemmas will come up. But guess what? While you may have been there and done that, your children will be facing them for the very first time. 

By now, school has started in most states, but you may still be dealing with a major case of separation anxiety in your youngster. (For those of you who have children who quietly and peacefully ran into the classroom the first day of school, you can stop reading now. But don’t brag too loudly because, rest assured, you’ll face some other dilemma.) 

Many children will spend the first few minutes of several mornings either clinging to the leg of their mother or quietly crying as the new teacher holds them and tries to convince them that her classroom is somehow more appealing than spending a day at home with their mother. 

Not one of my children left me easily and one was even a pre-school drop-out! Of course, she was my youngest and it was probably more my problem than hers. In any case, I learned a few techniques along the way that helped my children cope with any new activity they were taking part in whether it was school or a new gymnastic class. I call these my “Three R’s”.

1. Role-play with them. No one likes to be unprepared. Even as adults, we like to know what we are getting into before we do it. A week or two before the event, act it out. Pretend you’re the new teacher. Have your child come in the door and pretend to sit at a desk and talk to you as the teacher. They have probably played school before but this time you should let them know they are acting just like they should act when they see their new room.
2. Reward them.  Some children function better with an incentive. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing, but something fun that motivates them. A homemade chart with a school at the end of road worked well for one of mine. I made the road have five blocks, one for each day of the first week of school. Each day they went to school happy, they got to put a sticker on a block. When they got to the end of the road, the school doors opened and revealed a prize they would receive. Just this simple chart made the beginning of school easier and by the end of the week; they were adjusted to school and didn’t need the chart again.
3. Release them. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes the problem with our children starting to school or any new activity is really our problem. We just have a hard time letting them go. But our children are pretty smart, and they can sense this if it’s true. I found that the more confident I was in them going to school, the more confident they were in going. That meant that I couldn’t be wishy-washy, I had to drop them off confidently, give them a hug and walk out the door. No lingering or spying from the car. I had to be brave and let them know that I was confident in their teacher and in their ability to be a big boy or girl. I know it’s hard; but, moms, you can do it! As a rule, a confident mom is a more effective mom.

Well, those are my three R’s. I hope they will be hopeful to you as your children will constantly be starting something new. Hang in there and know you’re making a difference one kiss at on time.