Start Your Engines
Spring has sprung, as the old saying goes. And with a “sprung” spring, moms across America are revving up the car pool system to be ready to handle the trips to the baseball field, the soccer field, the swimming pool, summer camp and much more.
It seems that just about the time we adjust to a few free afternoons during the colder winter months, the letters and phone calls start arriving announcing practice times, special clinics, and a list of games long enough to make you think your child should be getting paid. Or maybe you should get paid! Actually, more and more we are seeing the trend to make whichever sport your child is involved in a year-round activity, so they don’t lose valuable practice time and lag behind their competition across the city. Alas, what’s a parent to do?
How can we put the breaks on, stop the car, and just relax from all the fun we’re having? Here are some tips of the trade I discovered as I raised three basketball players, two softball players, one baseball player, one track star, two violinists, three piano players, one football player, one soccer player, three gymnasts, and three art students. And, I only had three kids! Amazing, isn’t it? Of course, all of this didn’t happen at the same time. It was over childhood span of three kiddos. Some activities made it all through the years, while others were short-lived. To my despair, piano only survived two years as my three kids quickly traded that option for something better suited for them. At least, they thought whatever it was a better choice. (I have to add one child played by ear, so I still got to hear lots of piano playing.)
In any case, I did learn a few tricks of the trade as mine were growing up that might help you as the calendar/car pool mom.
- Remember who is in control. Mom, you are the schedule keeper, which makes you in charge. Isn’t it awesome to have so much power? Not awesome, scary, you say. In a way, you are right. Who wants to be the one responsible for not letting your child, the possible star of the game, not play this season? Who wants to be the mom that says, “No, little Jimmy has too many things going on right now?” Or worse. Who want to be the one to say, “I don’t have time to get him to the practices.” Never say it’s your fault! But, mom it is your fault. And that’s not a bad thing. You are the one who has, usually not one child, but several children to schedule practices for, not to mention your activities and your husband’s (yes, he is still there… somewhere). So give yourself permission to not feel guilty when you have to be selective as you organize your child’s activities.
- Solicit the help of others. Just because you may have a difficult time getting your child to practices doesn’t necessarily mean your child can’t participate. Go to the organizational meetings and ask around. Chances are there are other moms in the same “scheduling boat” you are in. When my children were younger, I had a good friend with kids the same age. We worked hard to get them on the same teams so we could share the carpooling responsibilities.
- Look for alternative programs. I have found that some athletic programs are more demanding than others. With a few questions and phone calls, I was able to find some programs within churches or smaller communities close to our home that offered a more relaxed practice and game schedule. When your children are young, just learning the rules and learning to cooperate with others is more valuable than winning games (yes, dad), so this might be a good alternative without so much commitment.
- Take the job yourself. One way to really insure a practice schedule you can live with is to do it yourself or ask your husband to take on the coaching job. Of course, this isn’t for everyone, but for some, it’s a great solution. I actually coached soccer when my son was in the first grade and had never seen a soccer game! I concluded that whatever I knew had to be more than a first grader! We had a great season and I got a lot of exercise. Many recreation centers and church programs are looking for good, Christian men and women to help with their sports programs.
- Remember to have fun. Extracurricular activities are just that. They are additional, optional, and secondary. No one HAS to play tennis, except maybe if your mom is Serena Williams and then she will probably still give her children a choice. Extracurricular activities should add fun, exercise and mental stimulation to our lives, not stress and grief. Have fun with your child’s activities. Even participate if you can. It can be a great way to develop a relationship with your child on a different level, but remember…it’s just fun! There’s no yelling in fun!
Moms, take a breath and start your engines!
