I was honored to study some in James last week as I helped my grandson, John Luke, work on a new YouTube bible study. I’m so grateful for that time of study as God always meets us with what we need. Here are some thoughts about a verse in James. 

James 1:19 says this “Post this at all intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.”

Don’t you love the word picture this verse paints? Imagine how it would work. You drive up to an intersection as you’re lecturing your child/spouse over a behavior you’re not happy with and BAM! A huge sign appears right before you that says, “Lead with your ears!” 

But you’re too far into the lecture to stop now, and you proceed to finish your points. Then another intersection and another sign. This time you take note. You stop talking and decide to just listen. Your child is in shock, but you’re determined to wait patiently to hear what’s going on in his/her life. 

Listening, like letter writing, is a dying form of communication. I’ve seen many young parents encourage their children to express themselves whenever and wherever they please. Children are not being taught the value of being still and listening. Social media has made “expressing your views” easy and no consequences are attached, so it’s being used often as a platform to “leave it all on the table.” 

 As a society, we’re quick to complain, whether we’re in our car yelling at another driver who cut us off or on the phone with the cable repair service or, again, on social media. It seems everyone is screaming, and too few people bother to listen. 

You might remember the term tuned-out that became popular in the 1960s—older people were the youngin’s of time guilty of tuning out the “establishment”; young people said it was the establishment that had tuned them out. It’s the old “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” scenario. But the truth is, assigning guilt never solves a problem. Adults do tune out and kids do tune out. 

We all need to heed the advice James gave the Christians of his day and learn to lead with our ears. It’s a form of pride to want to have the last word in a conversation. And pride has no place in your business life, your home life, or your church life. Learn to listen to others before sharing your thoughts. Set your tuning dial to husband, children, and others. You’ll be surprised what you’ll learn—and how much better your relationships can be—when you do. 

How about our communication with God? Often we are ready to give God our laundry list of wants and needs but we’re not ready to listen. A time to be still and let God speak to us.

A person’s prayer life is very personal, which can make it be deceiving. Since we don’t always share in public prayer, it’s easy to get away with not talking to God at all. 

For some of you, you have a prayer life of Biblical proportions and some of you are new to the idea of sharing everything with God. 

Prayer has forever been a huge part of our society—from the ancient days to today–from the most remote areas in a monastery to the child praying at the foot of the bed. 

For those of you who are not familiar with having a conversation with God, know this, the same skills you need to communicate with your husband, children or neighbor are the ones you need to talk to and listen to God. 

So what is needed for effective communication with God?

1. Realize it’s a two way street. No communication is great if one person is doing all the talking. That’s a lecture – which isn’t communication either.
2. Remember the “look them in the eye approach”—that works for God too. You can’t see Him, but you can look to Him. The word says He inclines His ear.
3. Remember to, “Say what you mean.” You can’t fool God anyway, so go ahead and pour it all out. 
4. And, then there’s the “don’t interrupt” rule. God likes for us to LISTEN to Him without interruption. Be still.
5. Remember to “Get over it”—realize that some things you will not win on or understand. But, if you are trusting God and living your life for it, every answer He gives is YOUR way, it just may not seem like it at the moment.

Communication is one of the toughest hurdles in any relationship, but it’s easier than we make. If we just remember to listen first, then talk life will be so much easier. If you are familiar with the musical Hamilton, you are aware that one song says  “talk less, smile more” which seems like a pretty good plan to me.  I think James would agree.