Kids Do Say the Darndest Things (but big people do, too!)

Hey RIG family, here’s another light-hearted story for you because I believe life is better when you’re laughing. I’ve collected a number of stories over the years from my readers who know I appreciate a chuckle and have written in recounting the humorous things their kids and grandkids have said, like the child who asked her grandfather if fish sticks were made of chicken. She wasn’t kidding.

And then there are the stories from those old enough to know better. My friend Tonya, a fantastic cook who sells her wares at the open-air Market in Baton Rouge, reported hearing one young lady past her school years approach a vendor who was offering honey. “Might I ask,” the buyer said. “Do bees make your honey?” The correct answer is: Yes, ma’am, you can ask. (But we get to laugh.)

Then there was Renea in Tennessee who took her daughter and some other teenage girls to visit a local pick your own produce farm. Renea reports that one of the teenage belles was more impressed than the others. “Wow,” the girl said. “I’ve never seen a real live tractor!”  Nor have I. I kind of wish she would’ve sent pics.

Of course, because God has a great sense of humor, I was right in the middle of collecting these funnies when I became the next punch line.  Clearly, these “Lights are on but nobody’s home” moments aren’t confined to the wee ones.

I was exiting the bathroom stall of a new restaurant with top notch facilities when I noticed an adorable little girl washing her hands at the sink. Even as I smiled at the cutie pie, I realized she wasn’t going to be able to reach the motion detector towel dispensers. You know—the kind that requires you to wave at them. (Some of us have to do Kung Fu and hold our mouths right while we’re at it, but that’s another story.) What with it being my busy speaking season, I’d been waving at sinks and towel dispensers all over the country. Thinking how odd it was that no adult was with this small child, I hurried to wash my own hands so I could assist the helpless little thing.

I waved my hands under the soap dispenser, then I waved again, and then again. I wasn’t quite through waving at the blasted thing when my new little friend found her tongue. “Ma’am,” she said, shyly. “I had to push the button.”

From the mouth of babes…

Hugs, Shellie