I was presenting my newest release for the first time at a book festival in Jefferson, TX. The in-town grands were presenting their lambs at the livestock show. Carlisle and her lamb placed second. Emerson Ann, her big sister and our oldest grand, not only took a first place with her lamb, she was awarded Grand Champion! Meanwhile little brother Weston had his first ever showing.  (His age shows their livestock, but they don’t compete.)

Pictures of their joy, along with images of my Houston grands from a father/son golf outing and a mother/son Laker’s basketball date flooded my phone as I sat in the convention center. I can’t make all of my grands’ big moments, and you can’t make yours. In my head I know this, but as my phone quivered with these pics, this “Keggie’s” heart shook with it and my eyes briefly and unexpectedly welled up with tears.

Did you hear me say briefly? I hope so because that’s where I want to take this conversation. Feeling sad over missing the grands’ events was instant and reflexive. How long I lingered there was up to me. In such moments you and I have a choice. We can give in to the sadness. Or, we can move beyond reminding ourselves of the hard reality that we can’t be everywhere at once and choose to react in ways that will continue reinforcing these relationships that are so important to us.  

One proactive way we can do this after a big event we missed is by intentionally reliving it with our grands later. We can ask questions, and listen, and give our grands the gift of attention. Obviously, we can start by “How did that feel?” or “What did you think?”, but we can also take the opportunity to build on the life lessons from their big win, (or heartbreaking loss.)

Either way, when we let our grands recap their experiences for us, we create another special moment. And while it may seem like a poor substitute for being there, it holds its own potential for letting our grands know that what is important to them is important to us! And that’s a valuable foundation in any relationship.

How do you manage the inevitable separations that come with not being able to be everywhere at once? We’d love to hear from you!