Have the Hard Conversations

Because I Said So.” Sound familiar, anyone? We’ve all said it to our kids, and we might have said it to our grandkids. I have, and I’m comfortable admitting it. I’ll always contend that there are situations where “Because I said so” is a perfectly valid response to a child’s endless questioning. It helps them learn to accept authority. Without such early training, our kids will have a hard time at school, and they’ll struggle working under leadership at work. And most importantly, they’ll have a difficult time submitting their lives to God.

That being said, as children grow up and explore the world around them outside of our direct supervision, going beyond, “Because I said so” to give them a more complete answer can be a crucial part of their development.

It was scary watching my babies turn into teenagers. Since locking them in their rooms until they turned thirty wasn’t a legal option, (don’t ask me how I know), I upped my prayers and worked on keeping the lines of communication open. I also began to elaborate on the “Because I said so” parenting technique.

For example, instead of simply telling them not to drink alcohol “Because I said so”, I explained the dangers of underage drinking. I told them I wanted them to have their wits about them when they were out with their friends, and when they were in mixed company. I explained how alcohol affects critical thinking and I cautioned them to understand that they would make very different decisions if they were drinking than they would make if they weren’t.

The result? I’d never be so foolish as to say my kids didn’t make mistakes. They made poor choices growing up, just like I did, but the decision-making tools their dad and I gave them were maturing, and I believe those skills ultimately kept them out of serious trouble. It’s not always easy to have the hard conversations and it will require more parenting and grandparenting energy, but when we choose hard now, we get to be grateful later.

Hugs,

Shellie