It’s been a number of years since I coached girls’ basketball but I can still run into certain people, those who wore black and white stripes back in the day, who can’t resist the temptation to poke a little fun at me for the way I lived and died with every whistle. To be completely honest, I deserve the ribbing.

As I mentioned in one of my books, I went through a twelve step recovery program upon my retirement from the game and I apologize to referees everywhere for my shenanigans. One of my commitments was to never step in a crowded gym with a clipboard again. Sticking to that has not been a problem, nor has my promise not to talk about the referees’ mamas. So far, so good, however, my grandchildren have yet to start playing sports. I admit, I may need a refresher course when that happens but I’m going to try to be good or stay home.

I mention my history so you will understand that the following joke is shared with four fingers pointing back at yours truly. It’s just that, with so many of us cheering on our precious grands in little leagues of all varieties, I thought it might behoove us to review our commitments not to act like hooligans. The story goes that at one point during a little league football game, the coach called a time out and began to question one of his young players, “Do you understand how important it is to control your emotions?” The little boy nodded yes.

“Do you understand that your actions can reflect poorly on the whole team?” The little boy nodded yes.

The coach continued, “So, you do understand that when a penalty is called, or not called, you are not to argue, scream, or in any other way attack the referee. Do you understand all that?” Again, the boy nodded yes.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there to the stands and explain it to your mother and grandmother.” (Ouch.)