My grandkids love to talk to me. This is good because I love nothing more than talking to them.

My grandkids love to talk to me, all at the same time.  This is not so good because it tends to make my head spin like a top! I often feel like a traffic cop trying to direct the incoming communication.

I’m sure you can identify. We all know our kids and our grandkids want our attention. It’s important for us to remember that they also need it. It’s critical to their emotional development. Children thrive in homes where they are heard. The fact is, children need our attention so badly, if they have to, they’ll settle for negative attention. To discourage attention getting behavior we don’t want to see, we need to find ways to balance their need for attention with our need for sanity. Can I get an amen? Here are a few that have worked for me.

Pause for a private date. When possible, divide to conquer and meet their need for attention. With my in-town grands, I try to pick them up one at a time for lunch dates. These one on one opportunities for them to talk ‘til they’re all talked out have become special to all of us. The Houston grands are out of state, so I can’t pick them up for lunch dates, but when I’m in town visiting I can meet them at their schools for lunch. After school, I try to engage Grant and Connor individually for blocks of time around their game or activity of choice.

Pause the madness audibly.  When the conversation is coming from all directions, remember to put your hands up and simply surrender. Quit trying to do what can’t be done. Admit that you can’t hear anyone over everyone and let them know where they are in the line. That’s right. Give them a number. It helps! “You’re next, Weston. Let me hear what Carlisle is saying and you can tell me your story.”

Pause your own list. I have one more tip for you mamas and Rockstar grandmas. I happened upon this one years ago when my children were in grade school. At the time I was running my own interior decorating business, Interiors by Shellie. (Wow, that feels like another lifetime!) I would time my last appointment to conclude with enough margin to pick the kids up from school because it was important to me. However, this meant when we arrived home, I often had tons of fabric books and swatches to bring in with me to try and squeeze a few more hours of work out of the day. And yet, after being gone all day, the kids were needing snacks and they were needing their mama. Basically, because they needed my attention, I learned to hit pause and leave my own work outside.

I would come in with the kids, without the briefcase and fabric books, to wear my mama, cook, homework help hats. Inevitably, those initial minutes of neediness would pass. Jessica and Phillip would tell me what they needed me to know. Then they’d grab a snack and wander to their room, or outdoors, leaving me to bring my work in without feeling like I was ignoring them, or them feeling neglected by me. It was a win for all of us! These tips have made and continue to make a difference in my family. I hope you can take the principles and apply the power of a pause in yours!