Turn, Turn, Turn

In my book, Rockstar Grandparent, I talk about the popular song, Turn, Turn, Turn, by Pete Seeger and made famous by the singing group, the Byrds, in 1965.  I use song titles as the chapter titles for learning about the joy filled journey of being a grandparent. 

My point of this chapter is that everyone gets their turn at being every age. We all get to be two, then twenty, then forty and so on. We all get to be children, then teens, then young adults, then middle age and so on. When thinking about “taking turns”, there is always the question of whether we are ready for our “turn” and are we ready to allow someone else to have their “turn” next. 

Think of it as if you, as a child, are waiting in line for the slide at the park. When it’s your turn, you must face your turn bravely because it is your turn, and no one wants to be the kid who walks back down the steps. Then, once your turn is over, you must hurry away because the next person is waiting for their turn. Every stage in life is like a different turn down the slide. When it’s your turn, you must face it bravely and when your turn is over, you must hurry away and let someone else try their hand at that stage. 

Becoming a grandparent is another turn at the top of the slide of life. Often, it’s hard to believe we’re there; that our turn is up. I was just 42 years old when my first grandchild entered the world. I was beyond excited, but I felt a little bit like, “What? I’m not old enough to be a grandma!” My next thought was, “Are my kids old enough or ready enough to be a mom and dad?” Was I ready to take my turn at being a grandma and were my kids ready to take their turn at being a parent? That was the mental dilemma I faced.

Taking turns establishes in us the ability to let go of ourselves and let others take priority. That pretty much defines Christianity, doesn’t it? Letting go of ourselves for the good of others. Becoming a new grandparent requires us to look at ourselves and our children in a different way. We must learn to be content that we’ve raised them to do the job they are about to do, and we must be content that that job isn’t ours. We are no longer in complete control. We have just been placed “on the bench”, to use a sports analogy. A bench player is someone who stands ready when one of the starting line-up must come out of the game. They are, indeed, very important to the team. 

If you play your cards right, you will have plenty of “playing” time as your children call you off the bench to rock, snuggle, and, ultimately drive around and feed, your precious grandkids. Life is a circle, just as the movie Lion King portrayed it. If your time to be a grandparent is now, know that this stage is no less important than any other stage of life you have lived. Stand at the top of the slide and bravely face new adventures while confidently letting go of your past ones and get ready, the ride down is fun, fun, fun!

Hugs, Chrys