Hello Rockstars! I realize I’m stating the obvious, but we’re as polarized as we have ever been in this country, and now we’re mere days away from the Presidential election, and you know what that means. Crazy is about to take it up a notch.

Proverbs 26:17 reads, “Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears is he who rushes into a quarrel not his own.” Now, there’s a piece of wisdom that needs to go viral! Our nation could benefit from citizens who didn’t rush into the social media fray and stake a position in whatever battle is trending on any particular day.

I’m not calling for a national kumbaya moment, I’m smarter than that. But we sorely need to start somewhere and since we’ve taken to acting like toddlers, I’d like to propose the type of discourse do-over I designed years ago for my own offspring and the one I use to settle disputes among the grands. (Baby steps, America.)

When my kids were little, we had a standard rule for sibling conflicts. It was all about taking responsibility for your own actions and reactions. Simply put, no one was allowed to employ the infamous Butt Defense. Granted, I didn’t call it the Butt Defense back in the day. That name materialized on the spot in that last sentence and I left it because, well, it’s just so fitting. The Butt Defense never advanced a child’s cause in this house and it usually came back to bite the instigator on his or her backside.

Strangely enough, my kids didn’t have to be taught to use the Butt Defense. It came naturally out of their own desire to defend themselves and promote their own interests.

“Yes’m, I did hit/slap/pinch him, but he hit/slapped/pinched me first.”  

“Yes’m, I did call her a ______________but she called me a ________first.”  (You fill in the blanks.)

In my role as sitting judge, I would overrule the Butt Defense faster than quick. Anyone using it was promptly reminded that I wasn’t talking about what his or her sibling had said or done. I wanted the child I was addressing to understand what the correct response should have been to the situation and what they could do differently in the future. Banning the Butt Defense helped us all move forward.

If only we could ban the Butt Defense in our national conversation. Sadly, it’s the fallback to every political discussion I watch or listen to and it keeps us mired in the mess we’re all convinced the other folks started.

For every person worried about the dangerous lack of civility in our politics and sincerely asking what we can do about it, here’s an answer that lies within all of our reach. We can start by refusing to defend what should be indefensible. We can call a hateful or atrocious action what it is without giving that person, voice, or political party any “cover” in our own circle by employing the Butt Defense.

Doing so would be a start towards ostracizing the extreme elements on all sides and diminishing their impact. Anything less will keep coming back to bite us all in the backsides. How about it, Rockstars! For the love of our sweet grands, let’s do our part to be part of the solution instead of adding to the problem.