Every year around August 1, America turns its attention to back-to-school. “Back-to-school” dominates and trumps everything. Commercials on TV, signs in the store windows, ads across social media—everyone talks about back to school.  We all know kids don’t love school, but still there’s some excitement in the days approaching a new school year. 

But, this year, the year of the virus, 2020, conversations are revolving around, not what backpack your child wants, but what a school day will look like—as in, will it even take place and will the kids have to wear masks and can they play with their friends and will they go a few days of the week and do online the days. As of this writing, all of these things are up in the air. 

As a grandparent, it’s hard to know when and how to help with those conversations. When my grands were younger, I would have a back-to-school dinner. It was fun to talk about the upcoming year, the goals each child set, the sports they would play, what they will wear the first day, and what friends they are excited to see. Now those conversations seem trivial when we’re living with a pandemic. Now the pandemic trumps every conversation, right? 

Some of you grandparents are still social distancing, keeping yourself safe from the potential of being infected. Some of you have quarantined until now you feel safe being around your grands. Like the virus itself, our lives are consistently inconsistent in not knowing what each day will bring. 

So what can we do? How can we help our kids and grandkids? One of the most important thing grandparents can do in the event of any emergency is to keep normal what can be kept normal. Grandparents, for centuries, have been the “normal” or stable, safe place kids can turn to when life is a little out of whack, which is where we find ourselves these days. Okay, maybe more than a little out of whack!! Crazy-town might more likely describe the life we’re all living now, but we can help our grands get out of crazy-town by just being the supportive, stable and loving grandparents they’ve always know us to be. 

As for back to school, I’ve been thinking of how unstable it all sounds to our kids. School is that secure thing—that every-year-it-will-happen-thing and now, it might not happen, as it didn’t happen the spring. From the many kids I talked to this summer, I learned that it was fun, at first, but then it was not fun. Boring, even. 

So, from what I’ve heard and read, most school districts are planning on having school in some way. Yes, that’s the crazy part. In some way. What does that even mean? Well, even with all of the uncertainty, grandparents can be huge difference-makers to their grands. Here are a few things to think about doing for and with your grands at the beginning of this crazy school year. 

1. Have a conversation. Even if school looks differently, it is still school. Learning will take place in some form, so talk to your grandkids about subjects they like to study and the difference in online learning and teacher-led learning. What a great conversation starter? Anything that leads you into a conversation is a good thing. Studying online wasn’t even a possibility when we were kids, but we did study reading, writing, and arithmetic, just like our kids do today, so find the commonality and share your like and dislikes too. 
2. Go ahead with the party. Whatever you traditionally do with your grands, do it. Even if you have to facetime your way through a party, do it, so your grands can feel that sense of normal. If you have been around your grands and feel safe around them, then cook their favorite food and decorate with “back to school” things like pencils and crayons and notebooks. Help them celebrate this new chapter in their life, however different it looks. 
3. This too will pass. While we don’t want to downplay the seriousness of the pandemic, no one knows better than grandma and grandpa that hard things in life can and do pass. Grandparents can share briefly (briefly, not go on and on and on) about other events that happened in America, letting your grands know that life will go on and, in some cases, will be better for the trials we have been though. Point out some of the good things about the pandemic that have already happened, like more family time. Grandparents are living testaments to “life goes on.” 
4. Never underestimate the power of a joke. Grandparents are the king and queen of corny jokes. In fact, grandkids depend on a grandparent’s bad jokes to feel secure in life. When grandpa tells the same joke for the 20^th time, grandkid feels like all is right with the world. So, keep joking; keep making them roll their eyes and laugh a little at you, not with you.  With every laugh, you’re adding a layer of security to the heart of your grandchild. 
5. Offer to help the parents. Just like any school year, your children might need a little help getting their kids, your grands, ready for school. When ours were younger, we always made a back-to-school trip to see those grands who live away from us. We helped them purchase their school uniforms for the new year. Now that they are older, I cherish those days of picking out uniforms with my grands. School uniforms aren’t the funnest part of school, but I like to think, since 2 papa and I were there, it was a little bit more enjoyable. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that. There’s hundreds of ways to help at the beginning of school. For my grands in town, I used to go with them to buy school supplies. As a former teacher, I loved getting to buy new notebooks and binders. It was a win-win for everyone. 
6. Send notes of encouragement. Now, more than ever, our grands need to be assured that God is still in control. Texts or for-real-handwritten-notes with a scripture to help them tackle whatever comes their way is always a good grandma idea. Here’s a good one: Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 
7. Stay informed. This year, probably more than any, grandparents need to stay informed. Not in a nosy way, but in a concerned way, asked your children to keep you updated on new policies and procedures so if you need to help out, you’ll be ready. As a former teacher, I know how important it is for grandma and grandpa to be ready as the backup plan when little “Mary” gets sick or forgets her lunch. So, be alert to all the new things this school year brings. 
8. Offer to help with homework. Helping with homework can be the hardest part of a night time routine for a busy mom and dad. Without being intrusive, offer to help if one child just needs someone to listen to their out-loud reading or help with simple math questions. Even if you can’t be there in person, these simple tasks can be done by facetime. When my grands where in late elementary or middle school, my daughter would often take a picture of a math question and asked me to help that child work it out over the phone, even though we live next door. On most nights, it was easy to just help them work through it from a distance. Remember our goal is never to do the work for them, but to help them figure it out on their own anyway, so long-distance worked. 
9. Take dinner to the whole family that first week of school. It’s no secret that many grandparents are as busy in their grandparenting years as they were in their parenting years, but the time is allocated differently. If you can swing it, offer to bring dinner over one night during the first week of school, relieving the parents of one of the many tasks that have to happen on a busy school night. Even if it’s not home-cooked, just the fact that you showed up and fed everyone (who doesn’t love Chick-fila?) will make you a ROCKSTAR. 
10. Look for something you can say or do every time you send them off to school or anywhere. I know this might sound silly, but words brings security. Yes, that’s right. We all know hugs bring comfort and security, but the words we say do the same. When my grands were little, I always said, “I love you. Be a good leader and a good example,” as they went out the door to anything. Now that they are in their upper teens and 20’s, they often quote those words for fun as they walk out of my house. Without a doubt, they look back at me and smile because they want me to know they heard those words and they made a difference. It’s never too late to start so, even if your grands are older, pick some phrase that you love and say it every time you’re with them. Here’s a fun idea I didn’t use, but wish I had. At the summer camp I direct, we encourage our counselors to use a call back to help keep their kids focused and paying attention to them. So I was thinking this technique would be a fun, grandma thing to do. For instance, grandma says, “When I say ‘I love you’, you say, ‘MORE’.” Then you say, “I love you.” And listen for them to say, “MORE.” I hope that makes sense. It could be a fun way to get their attention and reinforce your love for them. 

Well, that’s it. My tips for back-to-school-while-navigating-a-pandemic. Hope all is well in your grandma world. We’re pulling for you and praying with you!