Raise your hand if you have found a new normal? I was talking to my daughter, Korie, the other day and we both realized we have adapted to this new way of doing life. I get it. We’re fortunate that we have been quarantined together since March 16, so we do get to see each other, but, honestly, we don’t as much as you would think because we’re so busy. In many ways, we have settled in. I’m wondering if you have too.

I’ve always been fascinated with the adaptability of humans. John F. Kennedy is quoted as saying, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.” Adapting to change cannot be avoided. In fact, if adapting doesn’t happen, and happen often, one’s life will be defined by struggle and sadness. Being able to adapt is what strengthens us and makes us interesting people. Being a member of the “older” generation, I can now look back at my life of “change” and see how important every step, however challenging, was to get “me” to the “me” I am today. 

Think back to our young lives—all of us. Just as we got “used to” life at home with mom, dad, and maybe a sibling, we were plunked down in a classroom with a woman we had never met and surrounded by kids we did not know. And we did it! We adapted to going to school and we navigated life with other kids–some of them kind, some not so kind. We even adapted to all the different personality types we associated with every day. And we were only five or six years old.  

But, that was only the beginning of adapting to a new world. Maybe you were like me and your mom and dad determined it was in the family’s best interest to move to another town, another state, another school, different friends, and a new teacher. For this shy personality kid, the move was only a little short of being devastating, but I did it. After a couple of years, I even determined it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved my new school and new friends.  And life rolled on. More and more opportunities to adapt were placed before me. The same for you. Middle school, high school, college, marriage, new houses, apartments, new friends, bosses, jobs, and on and on. 

Change can come in many ways. It can be a decision we make for ourselves, like a job choice, or it can be the result of something out of our control, like the death of a parent or spouse. What makes change so hard is we like to live in our comfort zone. It’s our safe place. We know what to expect and we do it, whatever it is, well or, at least, good enough to feel secure. 

So here’s what we’ve all learned about change. It challenges us and forces us to reconsider how we do whatever it is we are doing. As a result of this corona-virus induced life, I have made a few changes that helped me see that I could do life in a different way, actually in some cases, a better way. I was forced to learn what ZOOM is about and I can now Zoom until my heart’s content. I’ve gotten comfortable with Instagram live as Korie and I have used that platform to read to children around the world every day. My drawers are organized and straight as I learned a new way to fold and put away t-shirts. Who knew? When forced to be at home for four straight weeks, I adapted and found other things that needed to be done. I heard on the news this week that many businesses have discovered they can work from home so there is real potential to end the need for office space. Who knew?

Change, by its very nature, is frightening as it places before us events and activities and people we know very little about. And, it’s in those events, activities, and people that we face potential failure and that’s the scary thought. If, with every change, we would be guaranteed success, it would be no problem. We would be screaming, “Bring on the change!” but, it doesn’t work like that. Walking (or crawling) into a new situation is uncomfortable. So, what can we do? Well, the only thing to do is to face it by embracing it. 

One of my favorite quotes is “If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude.” And, that’s really it. In order that we do change well, we have to change our attitude about change. That’s a lot of changes in one sentence, but hopefully you get the point. 

We all have the power to choose. That power of choice is one given to us by a loving God who decided He wanted the humans He created to have the ability to choose whether or not they love and serve Him. But, that same ability to choose to follow God or not, is the ability to make other important choices in life. And, being able to make a choice on how we face change is so important. 

One thing our generation can do is help the generations below us adapt as we face each new day. We’ve done it. We’re the perfect generation to help with all generations living today—those ahead and behind us.  

In short, here’s a few things you and I can do to help as our families adjust to life in 2020.

1. Acknowledge the disappointment that comes with change. With most change situations, some disappointment will surface. It’s the rain before the rainbow, right? Don’t gloss over the things that disappointment your children or grandchildren.  Resist the urge to bring up war times or any other times you have lived through. Just acknowledge and support. If you’re lucky, they might asked you how you handled big disappointments, but it’s okay if they don’t. Just support them.  
2. Stay as consistent as possible. Any time our family has gone through a challenging time, I’ve found that keeping the things that we can control consistent makes facing the challenge more doable. So, what can you do now that would, on a normal day, be a part of your daily life routine? Maybe attending church together or cooking for the family or reading a book to a young grandchild. All of these might have to be done via facetime, but it still tells them that life is okay and you, as the adult, have some things under control. Of course, you can’t facetime cook for them, but my grands who live in another state have been sharing their recipes and sending pics of what they cook.  If they live in town, you can always cook and have them pick it up. There’s not much better than a home-cooked meal from grandma’s house. Or a plate or grandma’s cookies. Remember consistency equals security. When our grands get to experience something “normal” it breeds a feeling of safety and security.
3. Have fun anyway. Having fun is rarely equated with a tough or tragic time. In our family, we’ve always tried to “look on the bright side” or “lighten” a tough situation. I have many memories of card games while waiting for a surgery to be completed. Once we traveled to the funeral of a dear aunt and managed to play trivia for the entire 17 hour drive.   Tough times are just that—TOUGH! And playing cards or trivia may not be appropriate in all tough situations, but sometimes, like being in the middle of a stay-at-home order, our sense of humor and ability to “look for the fun” is crucial to surviving and thriving. As the grandparents, you have a role to play in this dramatic time. You can lighten everyone’s load by just smiling or laughing on phone calls and facetimes. Sending fun pictures of you and grandpa help tell the family life is going to be okay.

We can’t say this enough, if or maybe when, life is different, but we can do our part to lead our families through the “different” so we come out on the other side stronger and closer knit.

We’ve got this!